Coaching for Couples, Men and Boys: Relational Success

I’m Koby Smutylo—relationship coach and soon to be licensed therapist and Relational Life Therapy certified. My work sits at the intersection of real-world responsibility and real-world connection: helping people become sturdier, more accountable, and more relational in the places that matter most.

Before moving into clinical training, I spent over 20 years as a business lawyer working closely with entrepreneurs—builders, operators, and leaders under pressure. That work taught me how people make decisions when the stakes are high, how conflict shows up when stress is chronic, and how quickly relationships (at home and at work) can deteriorate when communication turns reactive, avoidant, or contemptuous.

I bring that same pragmatic, no-fluff approach into relational work: clear goals, honest conversations, and skills you can actually use on Tuesday night when things get heated—not just insights you understand in your head. 

I’m also a father, and parenting has a way of making your values non-negotiable. It raises the question: What kind of person am I becoming in the relationships my kids are watching? That question is a big part of why I do this work—because the quality of our relationships is one of the biggest determinants of the quality of our lives, and our kids inherit far more from what we model than what we say. 

 I’m currently completing a Master’s in Clinical Psychology at Antioch University in California, deepening my clinical skillset in assessment, evidence-informed interventions, ethics, and the craft of helping people change. My focus is relational and practical: reducing conflict, strengthening emotional regulation, building secure connection, and replacing “winning” strategies with truly effective ones. 

My primary framework is Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real. RLT is known for being warm and direct—because sustainable relationships require both compassion and accountability. In plain language: I’ll help you tell the truth without being cruel, hear the truth without collapsing, and move from defensiveness to repair and growth quickly.

RLT is especially effective for:

• Men who feel stuck between shutdown and blow-up
• Couples caught in the same fight on repeat
• High-performing people who look “fine” on the outside but feel disconnected at home
• Partners who want practical tools, not endless analysis 

I use RLT extensively in my work with clients and I am completing my certification in RLT through the Relational Life Institute founded by Terry Real. 

Clients often describe my style as calm, candid, and constructive. I’m on the side of connection—but I’m not on the side of excuses. We’ll work on the patterns underneath the conflict, build skills that hold up under stress, and create a plan you can apply in real conversations.

If you’re ready to do real work—clearer communication, stronger boundaries, better repair, and a more connected home—I’d be glad to help.

If you’d like to see whether we’re a fit, book a consultation and tell me what you’re trying to change—at home, in your relationship, or in yourself. 

A free consultation allows you to:

• Talk openly about what’s not working
• Identify patterns keeping you stuck
• Decide whether this approach is the right fit

👉 Book a free Strong & Connected consultation
No pressure. No obligation. Just clarity.