Frequently Asked Questions

Strong & Connected offers therapy-informed coaching, not psychotherapy.

Although Koby Smutylo is trained as a therapist and this work is grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by the renowned therapist Terry Real,  it is delivered as coaching focused on skills, accountability, and real-world change rather than diagnosis or treatment of mental illness.

Many men and families choose this approach because it is:

• Practical and action-oriented
• Direct without being shaming
• Focused on patterns and skills, not labels

If clinical therapy is a better fit, that will be discussed openly.

Traditional therapy can focus heavily on insight, history, or symptom reduction.

Strong & Connected coaching focuses on:

• How you show up under pressure
• Patterns that damage connection (defensiveness, shutdown, control)
• Emotional regulation and communication skills
• Accountability without shame
• Repairing relationships through changed behavior

This approach tends to resonate with men who want results, structure, and clear guidance.

No.

Many men work with Strong & Connected to:

• Improve future relationships
• Understand patterns from past relationships
• Become better fathers, leaders, or partners
• Strengthen emotional steadiness and self-respect

Relationship work starts with how you relate to yourself. 

Yes!  Strong & Connected primarily works one-on-one with men and individually with teen boys.

Relationship coaching for men often leads to significant improvement in couple dynamics—even without the partner present.

If couples work is appropriate, that can be discussed during a consultation.

Common concerns include:

• Repeating conflict patterns
• Emotional shutdown or withdrawal
• Anger, resentment, or defensiveness
• Communication breakdown
• Loss of connection or respect in relationships
• Stress related to separation, divorce, or fatherhood
• Feeling capable externally but disconnected internally

This work is especially effective for men who feel stuck but motivated.

No.

Relational Life Therapy is pro-accountability and pro-connection, not anti-men.

Men are not blamed or pathologized.  At the same time, men (and women) are invited to take responsibility for impact, not just intention.

The stance is:

Strong men can handle accountability—and grow from it. 

 Coaching helps teen boys develop:

• Emotional regulation
• Self-respect and confidence
• Communication skills
• Accountability without shame
• Healthier relationships with parents, peers, and authority

Rather than asking “What’s wrong with this boy?”, the work focuses on:
“What skills does this boy need—and how do we help him practice them?”

No.

Teen boys are approached with respect, firmness, and compassion.

The goal is not to excuse behavior or punish it—but to help boys:

• Understand their reactions
• Take responsibility safely
• Learn skills they may never have been taught

Parents are supported, not blamed. 

Parent involvement depends on the situation and the age of the teen.

Often this includes:

• An initial parent consultation
• Periodic parent check-ins
• Guidance around boundaries and expectations

The goal is to strengthen the parent–child relationship, not undermine parental authority.

Yes.

All sessions are offered online, serving:

• Men across British Columbia, Ontario and elsewhere in Canada
• Families seeking coaching for teen boys in those regions

Online sessions allow for consistency, privacy, and flexibility.

There is no fixed timeline.

Some clients come for:

• Short-term clarity and skill-building
• Support during a specific transition
• Ongoing relational development

This is discussed collaboratively during the consultation.

The free consultation is a focused, no-pressure conversation.

It allows us to:

• Understand what’s not working
• Identify patterns that may be keeping you stuck
• Clarify goals
• Determine whether this approach is a good fit

There is no obligation to continue.

 This work tends to be a good fit if you:

• Want to change patterns, not just understand them
• Are open to honest feedback
• Value accountability with respect
• Want to be strong and connected

If it’s not the right fit, that will be named clearly. 

The first step is a free consultation.

👉 Book a free Strong & Connected consultation
Clear guidance. No pressure. Just clarity.