how can relational life therapy help us?

Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a practical, accountability-based approach to relationship change developed by Terry Real, a well-known couples therapist and author. RLT is designed to help couples (and individuals) move out of painful patterns—shutdown, blow-ups, resentment, distance—and into more honest, connected, skillful relationship. (Relational Life)

At Strong & Connected, I use an RLT-informed relationship coaching approach for clients across British Columbia and Ontario—including Vancouver, Victoria, Kelowna, Surrey, Burnaby, and Toronto, Ottawa, Mississauga, Hamilton, London (ON)—primarily online. (Local, private, and flexible.)

A lot of relationship help focuses on insight: Why do we do this?
RLT also focuses on execution: What do we do differently—this week—when it starts to go sideways? (Relational Life)

RLT is known for:

• Compassion + accountability (both people matter; both people own their impact)
• Skills for real conflict (not just “talk nicer”)
• Faster repair after arguments and ruptures
• Clear guidance for couples who feel stuck, distant, or volatile (Relational Life)

RLT is a strong fit if you’re looking for:

• Couples therapy alternatives that are direct and practical
• Repeating fights about money, sex, parenting, in-laws, trust
• Communication problems: criticism/defensiveness, stonewalling, escalation
• Emotional disconnection (“roommate syndrome”)
• Recovery after a rupture and rebuilding trust

RLT is especially effective for men who want to be better partners and fathers—but feel stuck between shutdown and blow-up, or struggle with conflict, emotional expression, and repair. Terry Real’s work is widely associated with men’s relational development and the skills required for intimacy. (NASW)

In RLT-style work, we focus on repeatable skills that change outcomes:

• Repair skills: how to come back together after a fight
• Boundary skills: how to be clear without being harsh
• Accountability: owning your impact (not just your intent)
• Relational communication: speaking honestly without attacking; listening without collapsing
• Pattern recognition: seeing the cycle as the enemy, not your partner (Good Therapy)

My style is direct, supportive, and results-focused. We’ll identify the pattern you’re stuck in, name the “moves” that keep it going, and practice new skills until they hold up under stress—so home feels less like a battleground and more like a team.

Common outcomes:

• fewer escalations, faster repairs
• clearer agreements and boundaries
• more respect in hard conversations
• deeper connection and intimacy

Relational Life Institute – What is RLT?

https://relationallife.com/what-is-rlt/



Relational Life Institute – Certification Guide (overview of the model)

https://relationallife.com/guide/



Relational Life Institute – Main site

https://relationallife.com/



Terry Real – Books (including work focused on men)

https://terryreal.com/books/



GoodTherapy – Overview of Relational Life Therapy

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/relational-life-therapy

If you’re in BC or Ontario or elsewhere in Canada and want RLT-informed relationship coaching—for couples. men or boys — book a consultation and tell me what you want to change: the fights, the distance, the shutdown, the resentment, or the trust.