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When the Question Isn’t How to Fix Things — But Whether to Continue

Some couples don’t come to coaching to improve a relationship.  They come because they’re unsure whether the relationship should continue at all.

Strong & Connected offers discernment coaching grounded in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), an approach developed by Terry Real that emphasizes honesty, accountability, and integrity in decision-making.

This work is for couples who are asking:

• Should we stay together or separate?
• Are we stuck — or truly incompatible?
• Have we done enough real work to know?
• Is it time to repair — or to part with integrity?

Discernment coaching is not about:

• Convincing you to stay together
• Pushing you toward separation
• Rehashing every past argument
• Taking sides

Instead, it provides a structured, honest space to slow things down and get clear—without pressure.

The goal is not a “right” answer.
The goal is a clean, grounded decision.

Relational Life Therapy brings a firm but compassionate lens to discernment.

This approach helps partners:

• Identify the patterns that have shaped the relationship
• Take responsibility for their own contribution without collapse or blame
• Distinguish between fixable relational patterns and core misalignments
• Notice where resentment, withdrawal, or entitlement have taken over
• Decide from an adult place rather than fear, reactivity, or pressure

RLT does not support staying together at all costs.
It supports relating with integrity, whether together or apart.

Discernment work may lead to:

• A renewed commitment to do real relationship work
• Clear boundaries and next steps toward repair
• A mutual decision to separate with respect
• Greater clarity and peace—even if the answer is difficult

For some couples, discernment opens the door to deeper repair.
For others, it provides a humane and honest path toward separation.

Both are valid outcomes.

Discernment coaching works best when partners are willing to:

• Speak honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable
• Listen without immediately defending or counterattacking
• Take responsibility for their own impact
• Stay curious rather than certain
• Allow clarity to emerge rather than forcing an outcome

You do not need to agree on the outcome to begin.

This work is often sought when:

• One partner is leaning out and the other is leaning in
• The relationship feels stuck in chronic ambivalence
• There has been betrayal, emotional cutoff, or long-standing resentment
• Couples feel pressure from family, finances, or children
• Separation has been discussed but not decided

Discernment coaching helps couples move out of limbo.

Discernment coaching begins with a consultation to:

• Understand where each partner is leaning
• Clarify goals and readiness
• Determine whether discernment work is the right fit

👉 Book a Strong & Connected discernment free consultation
No pressure to stay. No push to leave. Just clarity.