Sports Psychology Coaching for Athletes

Why Men Are Struggling—and How Relational Life Therapy Coaching Can Help

Many men aren’t failing because they “don’t care.” They’re stuck with high pressure + low relational training—and the cultural message that needing support is weakness. Research consistently links traditional masculinity norms to reduced help-seeking and greater isolation/loneliness. (PMC)
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a practical, skills-based approach that helps men build emotional leadership, accountability, communication, boundaries, and repair—so relationships get stronger in real life.

A recent systematic review concluded that “Traditional masculinity norms significantly deter men from seeking mental health support.” (PMC)
When vulnerability feels like “failure,” men often wait until problems become urgent—burnout, conflict at home, disconnection, or a relationship on the brink.

A scoping review focused on men in Western societies notes that masculinity norms emphasizing independence and emotional stoicism can increase vulnerability to loneliness and insufficient social connection. (PMC)
That loneliness doesn’t always look like sadness; it can show up as numbness, overwork, irritability, or “I’m fine—leave me alone.”

Depression and distress in men can show up as anger/irritability, avoidance, emotional suppression, substance use, and risk-seeking—not just low mood. (PMC)
A practical implication: many men don’t recognize what’s happening until it’s affecting their relationship, parenting, or performance.

An open-access study on men’s non-disclosure highlights the role of loneliness and masculine norms: “Depressiveness increases the likelihood for non-disclosure through loneliness and conformity to masculine norms.” (ScienceDirect)
In plain English: the more a man struggles, the more likely he is to go quiet—exactly when connection is needed most.

Couple therapy research shows couple-based interventions are widely accepted for reducing relationship distress and improving relationship quality, with strong empirical foundations. (PMC)
Even if you’re not doing couples work, relationship skills (repair, boundaries, conflict de-escalation) are learnable—and often transformative.

If you’ve searched things like “why do I shut down in conflict,” “anger in relationships,” “same fight on repeat,” “emotionally unavailable,” “communication breakdown,” “avoidant partner,” or “how to stop arguing”—you’re not alone.

Common patterns for men:

• Shutdown / stonewalling (going blank, leaving, going cold)
• Defensiveness (explaining intent instead of owning impact)
• Escalation (anger, intensity, harsh tone, contempt)
• Overfunctioning (controlling, fixing, managing) vs. underfunctioning (checking out)
• “Roommate syndrome” (low warmth, low friendship, low intimacy)

RLT is direct and practical. It’s built around a simple idea: truth + care creates connection.

1. Emotional leadership: staying steady under stress (instead of blow-up or shutdown)
2. Accountability: owning your side of the street without collapse or shame
3. Communication that lands: speaking so your partner can hear you—and listening without defensiveness
4. Boundaries with respect: clear, firm, non-punitive limits
5. Repair after conflict: turning a rupture into a stronger bond (not a longer cold war)

If you want a primer on the model, see: Relational Life Therapy Practical Guide.

Format: private online sessions (individual coaching, and/or couples coaching)
Focus: skills you can practice immediately—between sessions and in the moments that matter.

Helpful internal pages:

• About Strong & Connected
• Couples Coaching
• Teen Boys Coaching
• FAQs
• Contact / Book a consult
• If you’re Googling therapy terms in Vancouver: Couples Therapy Vancouver (coaching + psychoeducation note)

Most men notice improvements in:

• Less escalation and fewer shutdowns
• Faster repair (hours/days → minutes)
• Clearer boundaries without guilt or harshness
• More respect (for self and partner)
• More connection: warmth, friendship, intimacy, teamwork

A simple way to track progress:

• How often do we get into “the loop” each week?
• How long does it take to repair?
• Can I name my pattern in real time?
• Can I own impact without defending?
• Do I initiate connection after conflict?

Great fit if you are:

• High-functioning on the outside, struggling at home
• Tired of “talking about it” without tools that work
• Ready for direct feedback that’s respectful (not shaming)
• Motivated to practice skills between sessions

Not a fit if you need:

• Emergency/crisis support, or intensive psychiatric care
• A clinician to diagnose/treat a mental health disorder (psychotherapy)

If you’re unsure, start here: FAQs or book a consult: Contact.

• Masculinity norms & help-seeking (systematic review): PMC article (PMC)
• Masculinity norms & loneliness/social connection (scoping review): PMC article (PMC)
• Male-tailored psychotherapy directions (peer-reviewed): Frontiers article (Frontiers)
• Couple therapy state of the field (peer-reviewed): PMC article (PMC)
• Relational Life Institute (Terry Real’s training organization): Relational Life Institute

If you’re a man who’s tired of the same cycle—shutdown → resentment → blow-up → distance—you don’t need to become a different person. You need better relational skills and real-time practice.

Book a free consultation: Contact Strong & Connected
Or start with the guide: RLT Practical Guide

Lebow, J., & Snyder, D. K. (2022). Couple therapy in the 2020s: Current status and emerging developments. Family Process. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12824 (PMC)

Mokhwelepa, L. W., & Sumbane, G. O. (2025). Men’s mental health matters: The impact of traditional masculinity norms on men’s willingness to seek mental health support; A systematic review of literature. American Journal of Men’s Health. (PMC)

Nordin, T., & Degerstedt, F. (2024). A scoping review of masculinity norms and their interplay with loneliness and social connectedness among men in Western societies. American Journal of Men’s Health. (PMC)

Wagner, A. J. M., & Reifegerste, D. (2024). Real men don’t talk? Relationships among depressiveness, loneliness, conformity to masculine norms, and male non-disclosure of mental distress. SSM – Mental Health, 4, 100296. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ssmmh.2024.100296 (ScienceDirect)

von Zimmermann, J., et al. (2023). Masculine depression and its problem behaviors: Use alcohol and drugs, work hard, and avoid psychiatry! Frontiers in Psychiatry. (PMC)

Eggenberger, L., et al. (2023). New directions in male-tailored psychotherapy for depression. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1146078. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1146078 (Frontiers)